The wedding

Realtor is asked to appraise a farm property a stone's throw from the center of what later became New Albany. At the time, an expanded community is being created. An offer has been made by a developer and Realtor is asked to determine fair value for this owner.The owner's acreage is rolling and heavily treed. As a cursory observation, the land looks like it could make great home sites.

While touring the farmhouse, Realtor is introduced to a young woman , newly engaged to the client. We note the unusual beauty of the bride and the ordinariness of the groom, unless one considers his wealth of land.

Realtor is shown splendid and colorful bridal wear for the upcoming wedding. An astrologer has been consulted to determine the most auspicious wedding date. We wish them every happiness and find an invitation to the ceremony in the mail a few days later.

When the court house records are examined to complete the study of the real estate, a famous family name emerges.We are told the client's mother owns the farm, titled to a family trust.

We arrive at the tented affair and are seated cross legged on a grassy hillside covered with rush mats. A profusion of jasmine blossoms scent the air.

The bride arrives awash in saris, henna painted patterns on her hands and feet, and a red dot in the center of her forehead. We inquire of the other guests what type religious ceremony we have witnessed in a foreign tongue at the ceremonial feast that follows. There is conspiratorial laughter among those who know the couple best.

We learn that the bride has embraced a new religion which limits sexual consummation only to full moons. We have never before heard of such a creative way to limit a man's appetite.

When the transaction is closed for the farm, the proceeds are disbursed to the famous mother's trust and later traded for a pineapple farm in Hawaii. The bride finds this unsatisfactory, the marriage for gain is off, and Realtor in asked to find the unhappy bachelor a rental.

Lawyers are good for something.

 

 

original story by Sarah Simpson