the bachelor

Realtor is summoned to sell suburban residence. Seller likes his privacy and requests no yard sign. His success is apparent as Realtor tours the home...some subtle reminders of wealth, some less so.

A trained hand has decorated some of the non traditional spaces and it appears comfortable if one intends parties for several hundred, if a bit flamboyant .Realtor discovers a hidden room accessed only through the master's bathroom.The walls are covered with yellow stickup notes and several phone lines are flashing in the windowless space .

Realtor feels too much furniture had been schlepped and recommends storage of some items to facilitate showings.He is a sap for someone, Realtor thinks while tripping over flesh colored ottomans which emerge like breasts unzippered in the cavernous living room.

A pool and outdoor bar are hidden by the terrain but seen from the odd, non functional kitchen. For a kitchen where cooking would be difficult at best, an elaborate pantry system stores an enormous supply of all sorts of pastas and cases of very old Scotch.

The second floor holds the most interest to buyers viewing the home where bachelor ostensibly lives alone. There are several closets filled with women's clothes. All items are most recent fashion and all are size 6. When the question is asked, the answer is suprising...the clothing ,Realtor is told, has been purchased before a suitable companion has been found to wear them.

Do you mean that you only like women who will fit into those clothes?

Yes, after all, it's the perfect size for a woman to be and the only other thing a companion has to do is make pasta sauce.

She should be easy to locate.

 

original story by Sarah Simpson